My friend is 30 years old and just got pregnant for the first time. She has been wanting to be a mother for some time now and she was married last year and it finally has happened. Although she is only 1 month along she is already ordering custom baby shower invites, noting that she is registered at 2 stores but "cash" would be the preferred gift option. I have only known her for about a year but it seems to me that this is a bit tacky. She also seems to be caught up in the value of an item based on how "expensive" it was. If she knows something she received was from a chic little baby store she squeals with delight, if it was something from a chain store she just says…oh. I am aprehensive to think what her shower will be like if she reacts that way in front of guests. Yikes. I know this is delicate…don’t even know if I can bring it up with her.
it is beyond rude and not acceptable.
if I ever got an invitaion from someone and it read that, I would either not go.. if I did.. they would get a gift I knew they needed or a gift card. you dont ask for money.. it shows little class, little manners, and little dignity.
Also with something like that.. it will be remembered forever that this person asked for money. it is one of those acts that people just dont forget and you will be remembered in a negative way that you did this, and that quite frankly is embarrassing.
just my opinion..
August 13th, 2010 at 11:46 am
HECK NO!!!! WHO DOESN’T NEED EXTRA MONEY THESE DAYS WITH THE STRUGGLING ECONOMY!!!!! AND ESPECIALLY WITH A BABY ON THE WAY!!!!
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August 13th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
first off - one month along is way to early to be celebrating, announcing and accepting gifts.
Asking for gifts is rude - asking for cash instead of gifts on an invite is beyond rude - it is downright tacky…….
Even if getting gifts at a baby shower is the norm, you do not mention it in any way on the invitation.
And again, she is wayyyy to early in her pregnancy to be accepting gifts or even planing a shower.
And besides - since when does someone throw themselves a baby shower??
Some people never cease to surprise
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August 13th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
It’s taboo to ask for ANY gifts, actually. Apparently it’s also not occurred to her that it shows incredibly bad taste to host your own baby shower. She needs a dose of reality but more than likely the subtleties will be lost on her.
She should be thankful for anything she is given for her child regardless of the price tag or where it was purchased. "Chic" sounds all well and good but the fact is it’s for the baby and will likely be spit up on - the shelf life of any baby items is very short since they grow so fast!
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August 13th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I thought showers were given for the bride, not by the bride. Asking for gifts is tacky, asking for money is worse. I’d distance myself from this little soiree.
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August 13th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Kinda
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August 13th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
At one month she should be keeping her mouth shut. Too many first-time pregnancies end in miscarriage, and for older first-time Moms the odds on that happening are even higher. In her situation she should not be telling everyone till she’s at least past the first trimester. However, it’s obviously too late to worry about that. Secondly, since when does somebody throw a baby shower for themself? She’s ordering invitations and setting up the shower plans? That’s something that her friends/family should do for her IF they want to give her a shower at all. She sounds like the ultimate snob and if I were you I would not be getting involved in helping with the shower or everyone will think that you agree with her approach. Asking for "cash" as the preferred gift is way beyond tacky - it’s a total embarrassment. I doubt if there’s anything you can say to her that will change her mind. She’s obviously been brought up this way - it’s kind of late to turn the boat around now.
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August 13th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
I definitely understand her excitement with the thoughts of finally becoming a mother as I personally went thru several years of infertility treatments before I had my son….but she’s a bit premature and she should get thru her first trimester before making such big plans. Also….does she realize that she isn’t supposed to have the shower for herself? Someone needs to explain to her that someone in her family or a close friend (you?) will do this for her. And yes…..it’s tacky to specify ANY type of gift. She sounds like she could be turning into a "Mommyzilla" and needs to be "corrected" as soon as possible but when the time is right. People are going to thinks she is rude and offensive. Can you talk tactfully to any of her family members about it? Make sure it’s someone who doesn’t agree with her demands….lol. Good luck. I think you’re gonna need it.
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August 13th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
and then you have the problem of her being displeased with the amount of money that you give ! sounds like a no win situation . people like that don’t have a clue and you would be wasting your time trying to explain it to her .i feel sorry for what the poor baby and husband are in for . there are ways that are proper to ask for cash - like when a item is too expensive for one person to buy .
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August 13th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
it is beyond rude and not acceptable.
if I ever got an invitaion from someone and it read that, I would either not go.. if I did.. they would get a gift I knew they needed or a gift card. you dont ask for money.. it shows little class, little manners, and little dignity.
Also with something like that.. it will be remembered forever that this person asked for money. it is one of those acts that people just dont forget and you will be remembered in a negative way that you did this, and that quite frankly is embarrassing.
just my opinion..
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