My sister is "hosting" the shower, but since she’s not in the best economical situation at the moment [surprise IRS bill--go figure] I’m in the position that, if I want to have the shower go according to the original plan, I’ve got to foot the bill for the food, the game prizes and game supplies, the plastic plates/flatware, and the party favors. I’m a very thrifty spender, so it’s not as if I’m spending hundreds of dollars on these things, but it still bothers me that no one else attending has offered to contribute [with the exception of providing baby gifts].
I’m also making the food/desserts. I purchased the custom invitations [less than $15 w/ a coupon I had] and sought out the venue.
My sister’s friend was supposed to have provided game ideas/supplies, but is now not going to because of a recent financial "crisis," which wouldn’t necessarily preclude her actually helping me with planning these things–she just copped-out of the obligation.
Now, I don’t want to seem like a spoiled brat about this, because I understand my sister’s situation and I don’t really mind helping some financially, but this has gotten out of hand totally. I don’t have that many people who are supportive [no close relatives, orphaned, etc.] so it was left up to her…
I feel badly for being so bloody annoyed–should I?
You’re right, Cav. It is about the baby, and I am receiving gifts for her. Thanks for putting it into better perspective.
I hope I’m forgiven, though, if I still feel a little overwhelmed.
If that is the case(that really does suck). I would opt for a cheap shower. Don’t go fancy. Go simple. So you can save as much money as possible for your baby. Just have a dessert shower. Cake/punch. Simple games that you can print off the computer. Get prizes at the dollar store etc.
August 31st, 2010 at 10:19 am
you have every right to be upset about it.
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August 31st, 2010 at 11:03 am
If that is the case(that really does suck). I would opt for a cheap shower. Don’t go fancy. Go simple. So you can save as much money as possible for your baby. Just have a dessert shower. Cake/punch. Simple games that you can print off the computer. Get prizes at the dollar store etc.
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August 31st, 2010 at 11:46 am
honestly, i feel that youve lost the whole point behind celebrating a baby shower
its to celebrate that little guy/girl that youre going to bring into this world, with those closest around you.
is it fair that your sister had to pay for it? its about as unfair as you paying for it.
and people are buying you gifts! i feel that thats enough to ask of them, so overall, you should feel bad that youre annoyed, and i think you should really not mind spending the money, since it is gathering all your friends and family together to celebrate you and youre impending birth.
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August 31st, 2010 at 11:58 am
Another example why proper etiquette states that the expectant mother-to-be’s family never throws the shower. The shower is something to be thrown by a friend instead. But at any rate…I would have strongly suggested to you that when you first found out that she could not afford to throw you a shower, that it was simply canceled. Otherwise, the bottom line is that you’re throwing yourself a shower. AND are feeling bitter that your guests "are only bringing gifts, not helping to chip in for the cost of the shower". Wow…honestly, if I had a friend who was in this situation, I would be flabbergasted that she’s throwing her own shower.
I am expecting twins, a lot of my friends live out of state, and the friends that I do have close by are not in a financial situation to comfortably afford to throw me a baby shower. I have just assumed at this point that I won’t be having a shower. And that’s ok. I would rather go without one, than to throw myself one.
Would it be too late at this point to simply cancel your shower? It seems like you would have only been out of the cost of the invitations, and could keep in exchange your pride and the energy you’re spending on stressing over giving yourself this shower. Instead, your friends could simply drop off any gift(s) they may have already purchased when they come to view your newborn baby. Just a suggestion….
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August 31st, 2010 at 12:09 pm
How is your sister "hosting" the party at all? Don’t you have any close girlfriends that will at least help plan games? It does suck that you have to do it all alone but, I guess there isn’t much that you can do. I would try and ask someone to at least do some of the food, even if you have to buy the supplies yourself. Maybe if you hint that you are doing it alone someone might offer to help.
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August 31st, 2010 at 12:47 pm
I can see why you’d be upset. You never intended to throw yourself a shower and here you are stuck with footing the bill. I’d cancel the shower to make a point. You can have what is called a diaper party. That is basically a get together for your closest buds- you watch movies, eat pizza, and the only thing they have to do is bring some diapers.
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