now i am thinking of putting together a wine basket (i know that they like wine but i dont know what kind, so im going to go for red), and im going to make sure that its a good quality and expensive one.

but what else do i put in there. i know you’re going to say cheese (but what kind and where do i get good quality cheese from in Australia?) im also thinking of a cook book, some dried nuts.. but what else.

and because they had a baby boy, do i also get the baby a gift?

PLEASE HELP! thank you.

I don’t know where to buy it since I’m in NZ, but just buy a

nice goat cheese
some sesame crackers
smoked salmon
small jar of capers
some nice dark chocolate
buy two wine glasses to put in the basket

I would love this basket!!

You may need a onsie for going out in hot weather, but our twins were almost always in footed sleepers, despite all the other clothes we had. A onsie doesn’t keep them warm enough, and their feet get cold.

I really think for newborn and even for 0-3 you can get by just with footed sleepers. Really as few as 6 of each size. Just do laundry every couple days or so.

I bought for the whole year and don’t regret it. I bought very cheap though at a local thrift store. I would recommend buying for the first 6 months, you may not have time later. But I really find sleepwear makes the most sense. A newborn sleeps about 20 hours a day, a 6 month old 15 hours a day. They sleep every couple of hours. Sleep is what they do. After 3 months they can regulate their temperature enough to use more onsies etc. but I really can’t see putting a newborn down without a sleeper on. And for skin to skin contact, just have them wear a diaper only. Then put on the sleeper to lay them down for nap.

Today was my cousin/good friend/bridesmaids baby shower that I was asked to help out with. I live a few hours away from her and her husband so we came down the night before and stayed at their house to help put together the party. She and her husband had to work so i babysat her other kid, baked and made a custom frosting for cupcakes, put together the party favors, and decorated. I came down a couple weeks ago to help her go price check and look around to pick out what she wanted to do to. My fiance came with me and is helping her husband remodel their baby and their daughter’s room.

She insisted on planning her own baby shower and got some of her husbands family pissed off because they wanted to give her a surprise party but she didnt think they would do it the way she wanted. Then she complained about having so much stress trying to plan the party and asked me for help. Since she is a bridesmaid in the wedding I was really excited to help. I spent hourse designing games on my computer with cool borders and graphics only for her to turn to me and say she thought it was too hard and that if only i had made them matching, instead of fill in the blanks we could use it. I came to discover all she wanted was reassurence that her ideas were awesome, not real help.

She facebooked offensive stuff and pissed off her sister in law so bad, her , her girlfriend, and her daughter not only stopped planning the surprise party but refused to come to shower.

The shower came today and it was so small! Because she did things her way, we played four games that lasted 15 minutes, and they were all stupid. Shes like 33 and so all the guests were older and they kept rolling their eyes at how dumb the games were and all she kept bragging about is how much i helped her. We basically spent four hours watching the food network and talking.. what a fun baby shower.

She didnt want to listen to any ideas for food and spent money on sandwich items people only picked at, and bought grocery store pasta salad that made every sick.. but she bragged about how yummy it was!
Now after everything is done and over with (were still at her house, my fiance is helping to finish the baby room) she is bitching and screaming at her busband about how cheap his disabled eldery mother is and how she only gave $30 gift card. She is pissed because no one bought anything off her registry. People brought her things she needed, clothes, diapers ect. This is her second child and first boy so she felt that entitled her to a full shower. She has been crying all night because the one thing she really want ( a $160 crib set with this particular aquatic theme) she didnt get. It HAS to be from baby’s r us, it HAS to be this exact set, and it will RUIN the whole room if she doesnt get it. My fiance just lost his job so all we could afford was 4 onesies, 2 pairs of pants and a package of diapers. I feel so awful because I couldnt do more but as it is my mom and I had to go in on the gift together.
Her own husband (who is the one i am related to and is also in the wedding) said he wouldnt pay that much for a crib set. He had no idea what she put on there and says she is being ridiculous.

To make up for my lack of present, I have been on the computer for hours trying to find a cheaper crib set or one similar. I found one brand new on craigslist that is very similar, but was originally $300 and only costs $40 and she doesnt want it because it doesnt have the EXACT same design on it. The one she wants has bubbles and this one doesnt. I found her the one she wants for $50 cheaper and doesnt want to get it because its not from babies r us.
She wont use her daughter’s crib set even though it is not a gender specific set because it doesnt match the new theme she wants.
She just flipped out and said her husbands family hates and her and have something against her and just want to piss her off thats why they didnt come and buy her this expensive set. His mother lives alone, is disabled, widowed, and on a fixed income and this baby is like her 20th grand child. and she says who cares its a baby she can afford it. Her own mother only spent a few bucks and her dad didnt even come!!

I feel soooo bad I wanted to do more , but it just wasnt possible. I am starting to feel like it was a mistake asking her to be a bridesmaid. She already refuses to wear any of the styles of dresses I like and after seeing her behavior with this baby shower I am scared for my wedding.
Am I being ridiculous?

Nothing I saw calms her down and any advice I give her goes in one ear and out the other. I care about her but the more she goes on about how she got such crappy gifts and how cheap everyone is the worse I feel. If the grandma’s $30 gift card was crappy to her, my measly $25 gift was terrible.
How would You be feeling?

Are YOU acting like a big jerk? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Is SHE???? ABSOLUTELY, 100% YES YES YES!!! Yes, it’s probably hormones, yes, pregnancy is hard, but that still doesn’t give her the right to act the way she’s acting, and being all upset because she didn’t get particular crib sets. Since this is her 2nd baby, people don’t give as much stuff, since they figure you have stuff from baby #1. Yes, even if baby #1 is a girl, and baby #2 is a boy. That happened to me, I probably got 3 times as much stuff when my daughter was born than when my son was born. And most of the stuff I got when he was born was boy clothes and diapers and stuff. I didn’t even have a shower when he was born, so she ought to be grateful people were willing to show up when she did the rudest thing of all…throw herself a shower!!!

As far as her being your bridesmaid, I guess it would depend on when the baby is due in relation to your wedding. Will she still be pregnant at the wedding, or will she have just given birth and have a newborn? Maybe you need to give her an out here. Say something like "I know you’re going to be busy with the baby/not feeling well since your pregnant/etc. and was wondering if you’re still up to being in the wedding. Please don’t feel you have to do it still, I completely understand if you’ve changed your mind."

She needs to grow up, and be thankful you did everything you did for her, as well as give her a gift.

I’d think twice before helping her out again. Good luck!

My sister’s friend was supposed to have provided game ideas/supplies, but is now not going to because of a recent financial "crisis," which wouldn’t necessarily preclude her actually helping me with planning these things–she just copped-out of the obligation.

Now, I don’t want to seem like a spoiled brat about this, because I understand my sister’s situation and I don’t really mind helping some financially, but this has gotten out of hand totally. I don’t have that many people who are supportive [no close relatives, orphaned, etc.] so it was left up to her…
I feel badly for being so bloody annoyed–should I?
You’re right, Cav. It is about the baby, and I am receiving gifts for her. Thanks for putting it into better perspective.
I hope I’m forgiven, though, if I still feel a little overwhelmed.

If that is the case(that really does suck). I would opt for a cheap shower. Don’t go fancy. Go simple. So you can save as much money as possible for your baby. Just have a dessert shower. Cake/punch. Simple games that you can print off the computer. Get prizes at the dollar store etc.

what is your experience, what age?

My daughter is 4 and I still use the baby stuff because I still haven’t used up everything I got for my baby shower. Whoever said "you can never have enough baby wash" was wrong.

If I didn’t have a massive stockpile to work through and if my daughter was asking for it, I’d get it so long as there wasn’t a significant price difference, but I don’t really see the rush.

http://www.shoppingcartcoverpattern.com/

We all have things left over from our 1st babies, so we don’t need much. We also don’t want any of that generic baby shower stuff like powders, creams, etc and other useless crap we will never use.

Is it wrong to tell people what you want, ie on the invitation or something, or even request money or a gift voucher? What do you think?

With my first baby I did not know how the hole registry thing, and tons of people kept asking me "what do you want? what do you need?" so I told them all the same things and do you know what I got? 20 powders, tons of baby shampoo, lots of baby lotion, and it took me about 2 years to use all of it! (not complaining, just had to keep finding places to put them). then I got 2 bouncers, 2 play and packs, 2 swings. etc.

so with my second I made a registry and got stuff that i NEEDED, I love the fact that they have registries now because now you want get to much stuff you don’t need, and get what you really need.
and no it’s not rude! when ever I hear about a baby shower I find their registry.
and don’t be afraid to ask for money, that’s what my sister did, was not rude or anything.